In boardrooms, breakrooms, and leadership circles, progress for women has been steadily gaining ground. But behind the scenes, another dynamic is playing out. It is not driven by policy or opportunity gaps. It is driven by unspoken tension between women themselves.
Ilia Jakel, a leadership strategist and emotional intelligence trainer, calls it the “silent rivalry.” It is a subtle form of competition, mistrust, and comparison among women in professional environments. And while it may not be openly discussed, its impact on collaboration, confidence, and career growth is profound.
“Women have made major strides, but there is still this unspoken fear that there is only room for a few at the top,” Jakel says. “That mindset creates tension instead of unity, and it holds everyone back.”
Jakel is helping women recognize, confront, and overcome this hidden dynamic. Through her leadership programs and coaching, she is equipping women to move from quiet competition to powerful collaboration.
A Scarcity Mindset That Silences Collaboration
According to Jakel, the root of this rivalry is not personal. It is systemic. For years, women have been taught, consciously or unconsciously, that opportunities are limited. There is often a belief that only one woman will get the promotion, the leadership seat, or the recognition.
“When there is a belief in scarcity, it creates an internal pressure to protect your space instead of share it,” Jakel explains. “It turns potential allies into competitors.”
Jakel has observed this pattern in industries where women are underrepresented in leadership. Instead of lifting each other up, some women feel the need to compete for proximity to power. Others become reluctant to mentor rising female professionals, worried that doing so might threaten their own standing.
This dynamic does not always come from malice. More often, it is driven by fear and survival instincts. Jakel helps women name these behaviors, understand where they come from, and break the cycle by building trust, confidence, and a shared sense of purpose.
“We can’t fight for equity externally if we’re fighting internally,” she says. “Sisterhood is not a luxury. It is a leadership advantage.”
Emotional Intelligence Can Heal Internalized Competition
Jakel believes that emotional intelligence is the most powerful tool to dismantle hidden rivalry. Her approach begins with self-awareness. She helps women identify their triggers, their fears about visibility, and their beliefs about what it means to succeed.
“When women learn to manage their emotions and recognize the stories they’re telling themselves about other women, everything changes,” she explains. “You can shift from defensiveness to curiosity, from comparison to confidence.”
Jakel’s programs often include case studies, group dialogue, and scenario-based coaching that create space for honest conversations. She encourages women to speak openly about the discomfort they may feel around other strong female peers, not to judge it, but to understand it.
Through reflection and skill-building, women learn to communicate with empathy, celebrate each other’s wins, and create environments where support replaces suspicion.
The shift is subtle but powerful. When emotional intelligence is in place, women begin to see each other not as threats but as teammates in a shared mission.
Leading Together, Not Alone
Jakel emphasizes that the most impactful change happens when women move from isolated success to collective influence. This means advocating for each other, sharing knowledge, and expanding the definition of leadership to include collaboration, vulnerability, and trust.
“Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely,” she says. “When women link arms, they lead with more strength, more clarity, and more impact.”
In her work with organizations, Jakel helps companies build cultures where women are not just present, but connected. She encourages mentorship programs, peer coaching, and structured opportunities for collaboration across levels.
She also works directly with female leaders who want to dismantle the competitive culture within their teams and replace it with one of empowerment. The goal is to create a ripple effect, where collaboration becomes the new standard and rivalry becomes the exception.
Jakel points out that when women lead together, everyone benefits. Teams are more cohesive, communication improves, and innovation accelerates.
The message is clear. There is room for everyone. And the more women help each other rise, the faster the collective rise will be.
Conclusion: From Quiet Rivalry to Loud Support
Ilia Jakel is challenging women to examine a dynamic many feel but few speak about. The hidden rivalry among women is not just a personal issue. It is a cultural pattern that needs intentional disruption.
Through emotional intelligence, open dialogue, and collective leadership, women can shift from silent tension to vocal support. Jakel’s work reminds us that real power is not in being the only one at the table. It is in creating more seats for others.
Because the future of leadership is not defined by individual competition. It is defined by mutual elevation.
And when women lead side by side, they do not just change companies. They change culture.
