Cannes Film Festival 2023 One For The Ages! Pure epic

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 16, 2023:

As Hollywood’s most entertaining journalist reviewing the Cannes Film Festival? What could possibly go wrong? Well, let’s find out. Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your berets, because we’re about to embark on a cinematic journey through the 2023 Cannes Film Festival, where the stars were as dazzling as the Mediterranean sun, and the films were as varied as the cheese selection in a French supermarket.

Firstly, let’s talk about the fashion. The Cannes red carpet is the stage for the world’s most glamorous to strut their stuff, and boy, did they strut! We had everything from Julia Fox in a dress that looked like it was made from cling film (I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of transparency, eh?) to Jennifer Lawrence pairing a Dior gown with flip flops (I guess even Hollywood royalty can’t resist the allure of comfortable footwear).

But enough about the fashion, let’s get to the films. The festival was a veritable smorgasbord of cinematic delights. We had everything from Martin Scorsese’s “Killers of the Flower Moon” (which I’m sure was a real laugh riot, given the title) to Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City” (because who doesn’t love a good asteroid-themed rom-com?).

One of the highlights of the festival was the premiere of “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”. Harrison Ford graced the red carpet, proving that even at his age, he’s still got the moves. The film itself, however, was a bit of a mixed bag. It had all the hallmarks of an Indiana Jones film – action, adventure, and more action – but it didn’t quite manage to recapture the magic of the original trilogy.

Another standout was “May December”, starring Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore. The film received high praise for its exploration of the complexities of relationships, which I’m sure was a real hoot. And who could forget “Club Zero”, a film that was described as a combination of “Hitchcock and Cronenberg and ‘Village of the Damned’ and the Todd Haynes of ‘Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story'”. Sounds like a real feel-good flick, doesn’t it?

But it wasn’t all about the films. The festival also saw the premiere of “Anatomy of a Fall”, a film that was either a “Gone Girl” in reverse or a “Mission: Impossible” without the stunts, depending on your perspective.

In the end, the 2023 Cannes Film Festival was a celebration of cinema, celebrity, and the power of storytelling. It was a time to come together, to laugh, to cry, and to be thoroughly entertained. And who knows, maybe next year we’ll see even more films about asteroids and serial killers. But until then, we can only wait and see what the future holds.