On December 11th, Syndicate X Library dropped the latest episode of “Books That Changed My Life,” the weekly YouTube series that explores how books can transform our lives in profound and unexpected ways, featuring guest Nikki DeLoach.
#Powerjournalist Markos Papadatos has the scoop.
DeLoach, a Hallmark Channel favorite also known for her role in Awkward, sat down with host Chris Collins for a deeply personal conversation, revealing her experience with childhood abuse, her deep connection to those who have passed on and those whose souls have not yet come into this world, and how Glennon Doyle’s Untamed changed her life.
An important piece of advice she wants to share with young men:
My biggest advice to any young man – and I tell my boys this all the time – there is nothing sexier than seeing a man with a book in his hands reading.
On her early love of reading:
My mother told me that I was reading in preschool at three years old and four years old and I would read to the class.
I won the Georgia Reader of the Year Award when I was a kid. To this day, it’s one of the awards that I’m most proud of! Who needs an Emmy when you can get that?!
On the abuse she faced in childhood and how she saw that reflected in Untamed:
The first chapter in [Untamed]…[Glennon] talks about being 10 years old and at 10 years old that’s when we’re taught what it looks like to be a “good girl.” At 10 years old is when [the sexual abuse] happened to me, and I was silenced, and wasn’t allowed to actually say what happened to me. And so at 10 years old, I was told that being a “good girl” was letting boys do anything to you and keeping your mouth shut, letting adults do anything to you and keeping your mouth shut, that my life was not worthy of protection, that there was something so deeply broken and unloveable about me that I didn’t deserve that. That’s when the disordered eating started – just like Glennon. I just began to disappear. Man, did it take me decades to untangle that and learn to love myself, and this book was such a huge part of me being able to do that.
On knowing she needed to save herself after a stretch of making bad decisions:
I woke up that morning and looked myself in the mirror – I’m a big faith person – and I just did not see God in myself anymore. We are created in the image of likeness and I did not recognize myself. The first book I picked up after that was “Anatomy of a Spirit” and just kept reading and reading and reading and got into much needed recovery for disordered eating. That’s where [that thinking] began – “I have to save myself because nobody’s coming to save me.”
On not believing in marriage before 30:
I don’t really believe in marriage before the age of 30. People who get married in their 20s, I’m like, how?? Maybe they weren’t the mess that I was in my 20s but…
On feeling the soul of her child around her before he was born:
I didn’t know if I wanted kids because everything I had gone through when I was a kid…but then something came over me at 33 and I could feel this little soul floating around me and I knew it belonged to me – I was supposed to help bring this soul into the world.
When I was a kid, I communicated with the other side all the time…Conversations about what it felt like to be on the other side. That was so much of my childhood and when this incident happened to me at 10, it just went away. Until, one day, I’m 33 and I’m like, I feel this energy, this soul, around me and i just kept sitting with it. I think it’s supposed to be my baby.
On discovering Glennon Doyle and Untamed:
I had been following Glennon…when she began to post about this I was like, “oh this is different.” I would read anything that she wrote. I think I devoured the book in two days. I could not stop. I read it again and again and bought it on Audible and I just kept listening to it until I could repeat the words back to myself. And then I proceeded to buy it for every woman on every set I was on for years. I’ve probably bought between 60 and 70 copies of this book for people.
I love to find that perfect book for somebody and give it to them at that perfect time. Because books have changed my life throughout my life in so many ways.
On how she would describe Untamed to someone who has never read it:
We are all placed in cages at very young ages, and we lose who we are. And then if we’re lucky, we spend the rest of our lives remembering, getting back to what our soul came into this world to be. When she says “Untamed” it’s really, “What is your wild, untamed, uncaged self?” and “how can we become that and bravely live that every single day in spite of what society tells us?”
On how Untamed changed her life:
I’m so grateful to [Glennon Doyle]. I have full acceptance of who I am, flaws and all. I don’t beat myself up for mistakes. I know how to repair with myself, I know how to repair with others. I don’t betray myself or abandon myself, anymore. I know the safest place I can possibly be is in this body. I finally, after so long, love myself.
On finally agreeing to write a book herself:
I’m chipping away at it. It took me two years to say yes.
Each episode of “Books That Changed My Life” is filmed within the walls of the Syndicate X Library – a hidden sanctuary of knowledge with over 26,000 carefully curated books and works of art. Every guest has the opportunity to share with viewers the story of a book that has shaped or inspired them, paving the path for a meaningful conversation unlike any they’ve had before.
About Books That Changed My Life
“Books That Changed My Life” is a weekly YouTube series that explores how books can transform our lives in profound and unexpected ways. Hosted by bestselling author Chris Collins, each episode features a special guest who shares the story of a book that has shaped or inspired them, sparking a meaningful conversation that unearths powerful personal stories. Taped within the walls of the Syndicate X Library – a hidden sanctuary of knowledge with over 26,000 carefully curated books and works of art – “Books That Changed My Life” showcases the transformative power of books and their timeless ability to connect and impact people across all walks of life. Recent guests include R&B legend Eric Benét, former covert CIA officer Andrew Bustamante, Country music star Jordan Davis, legendary singer Melissa Manchester, Dancing With the Stars pro Jenna Johnson, and television icon Kelsey Grammer.
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